Opening the tool box- I lost my toes!

It has been an insane few months. I have had so little time (actually, I still don't have time! The PIp is still going strong and climbing Mt. Mama with great glee). I'm going on several terrible nights of sleep, and four hours of broken ugliness in the last 24 hours.

Add to it stresses of being a grown up, bills, car troubles, and a 3 year old (enough said)... Oh and then add to that health issues rearing their ugly head. Some of these were snowballed in thanks to sleep deprivation and stress. But also from a gluten exposure I just couldn't figure out. Gluten makes me ragey and anxious. Gluten makes my gut scream. Gluten makes me oh so sick. It also makes break out in itchy little blisters called dermatitis herpetiformis. Gluten sucks.

This is a rough time. 

I have felt so very stuck. Actually I've felt kind of buried in small children screaming in my ears. My stern expectations saying I need to do more. Children's behavior screaming I need to do more. Feeling pretty much like a burnt out grump of a Mama.

It's doggy paddle time, and no and if or buts about it. That humbling time where you truly realize that

Struggles...Are my Ally.

This month has been rough. About two weeks ago Hubby and Friendly both came down with the flu. Thankfully, Friendly's case wasn't too bad. She had a high fever (103+) for 3 days and a cough, was miserable but kept comfortable with Motrin. Hubby on the other hand was laid flat; high fever, horrible cough, and knocked out hard core for several days.
 Which left me solo parenting, dealing with a sleepless and teething baby, and praying I wouldn't get the flu too.

I didn't get it (wohoo!) But I came down with some thing else this weekend (sinus infection? virus? I'm still trying to decide). I am not nearly as miserable, but enough to be laid up on yesterday for the Pip Squeaks first Birthday.

Being sick, has also given me time to think- a luxury I haven't had in weeks.

What was I thinking about?

BALANCE

 Mostly how unfair it feels to me. Finding balance is such a struggle!
Sleep deprivation is super hard on any body...But especially mine...I try to brush it off...Soldier on, but it sucks. Add to it long standing autoimmune issues, anxiety and SAD and it has been an uphill battle for me this past month.

I read some thing a friend shared the other day that really impacted me.