Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Comprehensive List: The Things I Couldn't Do Before I Had ...A Boy.

Ziggy Joy will be a year old soon...a year since I was waiting for him
Just about Exactly a Year ago...

This time of year is so bitter sweet for me, it's a big turning point in the year, after a busy summer full of adventures, change is in the air. The last few summers late August has me feeling pensive and a little sad, another wonderful summer of their childhood has turned the corner looking towards Autumn. The books are on the shelf waiting for our First Day of School, full of possibilities And yet the flowers are still in bloom and the weather is warm and waiting for Autumn's turn.
This too...
I can't believe how fast the year has flown his birth was so different and so...almost nonchalant in how he was so quickly with us...I mean the birth wasn't nonchalant, but his arrival almost felt that way. A hint of his personality perhaps.
His Birthday.
It is hard to believe he wasn't always part of our family. Over the past year I've gotten a lot to "finally got your boy!" comments, not a huge deal...I nod and chuckle and say "Oh well we sure do love him." But some times it bothers me too, I feel defensive for my daughters. Honestly the thought that a family is only complete when they have both genders is ridiculous. We were perfectly complete with our girls, but yes- we feel beyond blessed to have this Laughing Joy in our lives, he made us realize how much more our life could be. A part of our story was missing and has so much more to it than we imagined!
 He's almost a year old and I'm still waiting to see how different he is, I've gotten a lot of comments about that too. "Oh a BOY! Watch out!" or "Oh a boy, I have to tell you they are the sweetest. My girls were rough, but my boys were a dream."
 People like to make boxes. Again, nod and smile, whatever chit chat is what it is. He does have the easiest temperament of my babies. He is (so far) my best sleeper. He is chill. But my diet is really good, I've avoided foods that bothered my other babies. I think that lends to his personality as well: he's not living in constant pain.

So far he's exactly as different and unique as the others were. I've been trying to come up with a list of all the things I've gotten to experience now that I" finally have my boy" and it is shocking, you won't believe it.

 Here it is The Comprehensive List as a Mom of a Boy...

 1. Since he was born I may have uttered the words "cute" and "penis"in the same breath (just saying... TMI, Absolutely. But it's not some thing I ever thought before...I'm not alone on this one.).

 2. Use on average 2 more wipes per dirty diaper change there are more angles down there.

 3. Worry about somebody's penis health on a regular that rash okay? If I let some one new change his diaper are they informed on intact care or will they mess with his foreskin and cause adhesions and pain?

4. Use the word penis more than I ever thought necessary (and you're probably feeling that way too at this point...)

5. Kiss another person with male genitalia more than I kiss my husband (it's his cheeks, I can't help myself).
 There it is, 5 things I never thought I would experience. Does he like "boy stuff" more than the girls or seem wired differently? He does seem a bit more dirty some how, he seems to attract it and eat it more than I previously recall...Then again I didn't take the others as many places as I take him. And also their babyhood is a blur. I do recall Friendly licking things I couldn't believe she would lick, Ziggy seems to follow that trend. No stone, or disgusting colored patch of sidewalk goes unlicked. Healthy microbiome for the win!

 He just loves people, anything people related he locks in and needs to join in. The kids are all talking? He starts babbling as loudly as he can over them. As an introvert this does not bode well for my bubble...As a Mother? It is cute.

 He does tend to be very interested in loud noises and mechanical things, always points at planes overhead and has to stop and watch a noisy truck pass by. He already plays with cars a lot. But he also rocks baby dolls he finds and kisses them, loves to talk on the play phone, is super into books, is very gentle and mellow and empethetically connected with the people in our family.

He is definitely much larger than the girls were, he weights what they did at 2-2.5 years old (again my great diet and hearty appetite, I haven't restricted or tried to lose the baby weight this time)! And he's quite tall for his age, he also has hands almost as big as the 4 year olds (he's going to be a big handsome man some day, or just have abnormally large hands and feet and a sweet kind face ;)

He carries his own energy and reminds me of pieces of all of the others but he's his own person, with his own lessons to teach me and stretch me. I'm so thankful he is part of our world. I can't believe it's been just about a year since I finally looked into his eyes for the first time. I am so happy he is part of our world.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Finding Balance in Flux



1. a flowing or flow.
2. the flowing in of the tide.
3. continuous change, passage, or movement:

 I'm the kind of person that loves structure, until it feels like a burden and then I need change.

Right now life is very...loose. It's been interesting since Ziggy was born. Life has revolved around his sleep and how much sleep I am getting, and how can I get the most sleep possible?

Add to the fact that Hubby Joy sets his own hours and works all hours, some days he starts work at 7 and works all day without breaks until dinner time. He picks it back up after the older three are in bed. Other mornings we sleep in until 8 or 8:30 and he doesn't start work until between 9 and 10 works until 5 or 6 and our day (the kids and mine) works around that.
Working Late, Ziggy was helping...
Some nights he's up until 2 or 3 in the morning trying to figure out a problem in the project before the people on the other end need it the next morning.  So he sleeps past 9 or 10 and I get up and feed the  kids and start the day with out him.

His work load and deadlines change daily. Some weeks he works 6 days a week some weeks he takes more time off.

And then sleep. Any opportunity I have to get more of it I feel like I should take it, because if there is any thing in my life I'm consistently short on, it's sleep. Ziggy is a decent sleeper, for a baby he's fantastic, I put him down between 8 and 10 p.m. and he often will sleep 5-6 hours at a time. Some times he doesn't wake me until 5a.m. (7-8 hour stretches) and then he nurses for a long time while we doze. After three rough sleepers, he's a dream and it is working for us. But Friendly has been having a horrid patch again (sensory struggles mostly, upset and needing help) and she wakes me (and has for months) several nights a week and then I struggle to get back to sleep myself. So when the baby sleeps in until 7:30-8 (or some times later) I have a hard time saying no to the opportunity.

So I wonder? Is this the season I am in, and I need to just do what works and go from there? Or do I need to be the river bed for the family flow and set the foundation by being intentional and getting up earlier? The older 3 wake up between 6-7a.m., get some food (we fondly refer to it as "First Breakfast"), and work on projects until I come down.

When I come down Hubby makes the coffee and we work on getting a real breakfast on the table, we eat as a family and then the kids go off and do more projects while DH and I finish up our coffee and I do chores and he heads up to the office.

By the time I'm done breakfast and chores it's 9:30 and the baby is ready to nurse, he usually doesn't nurse long when he wakes up and so we snuggle for 30 minutes at this time. And then he plays happily and I get my shower and we head out the door to meet friends, or we do some thing else together until lunch time. I suppose this would be prime school time.

Do I try to make things flow or do I embrace the flux, the ever changing needs?

I'm torn. Because I know that in some ways our days are more productive when I'm up at before 7. On the flip side I am exhausted and stressed and long-term, unhappy in that scenario.

Here's what's working:

Slow mornings. After years of rushing through parts of our morning, either for Hubby Joy to get off to work or to welcome our Bonus Kiddo the year we  had her with us, well I didn't realize how stressed it left me feeling until we were free of it. A slow morning routine helps the rest of the day feel calm.

What does a slow morning mean?
Sleeping in isn't so much the issue, it's being able to wake up slowly. Hubby Joy and I take that time to talk for a few minutes while Ziggy crawls between us and snuggles.
 We need that connection time before we start our day surrounded by the kids.
I also need time to drink my coffee alone. I like to sit on the porch and read with my coffee. This isn't really possible with busy Ziggy, but I do still like to sit and enjoy nobody touching me or climbing on me. The kids know I won't read to them or do any thing with them until my cup is empty.

So what I think we'll do...
That said, I do think I need to set the alarm for 7:30 and be out of bed no later than 8 on week days, bad nights will happen but I don't think that will be a burden. I need to hop right into the shower.

We should shoot to be done with breakfast by 9.

Then coffee time.

Then FAMILY chores. That will be a change. The girls will unload and load the dishwasher if I ask them to help me. I think I would like them to be more involved in the daily running of the house. It's a fine line we are not sure how to balance. We don't want to raise entitled children, we want them to have life skills and understand the value of work, and just all that it takes to keep a house and family running. But we also want them to be *kids*, we want them to have this time to be young, to know a carefree childhood where housework and chores were some thing they did along side of us...Not some burden that they alone carried for the family and they were sent off and expected to do it no matter how miserable and nasty everyone was being (as children from larger families we may have a bit of baggage here...).

So I think involving them in housework will need to happen here. We have talked about every body having a day to unload the dishwasher (HJ and I included), make it a team effort to keep up with that sort of thing. I need to come up with a chart for that.  And have the expectation that I will have kids in my bubble and needing supervision and my involvement in the mornings.

And then after chores will be Pip's school time.

We'll be using Heart of Dakota, so I will do her Bible and Language Arts and a chapter (Life of Fred) of Math with her. Or maybe I will get Horizons Kindergarten for her and do a page every day it's assigned, I really want less reading aloud in my life...Or maybe we will skip math this year. We will be doing 2 years of Kindergarten unless she just takes off with reading. I don't really believe in pushing math before the age of 9 anyway...I don't really believe in pushing much of any thing before age 9, unless the child is interested, but there's the rub, she's interested. I think she'll really enjoy her "Mommy Date" every morning getting to do a cozy literature-based curriculum all her own, and math pages especially will interest her, she loves numbers. As a younger sibling from a homeschool family I know how much it means to DO SCHOOL with Mommy. Is it necessary? No. But any thing I can do to connect with this kiddo is worth it.

After  Pip's school time her assignment will be 5 books in the Skybrary and then 20 minutes of Teach Your Monster to Read if she wants it. Other wise it will be anything we allow from PBS Kids.

That leaves the older kids school time: We will start with Brain Integration Therapy and move to Phonics practice (Friendly) and The Main Assignments for the day from Build Your Own Library guide.

All that said and done we should be done with school by noon. With homework and left over assignments to be finished after lunch and on pleasant days we can head to the park for more read alouds and cold day we can schedule in some tea times too.

I have been hearing a lot about Bravewriter poetry and tea and I want to look into that for enrichment, I think Friendly would love it.

I think regardless this is going to be a lot of work and constant need for grace and being realistic. Some days we'll get a lot done, other days maybe we won't. But I think, even if it's not the best way to do it, I think this will be our best happy medium.

Next post, week days...Thinking through how I want to do our week. I do think a rhythm here would be good.

Monday Library Day...Tuesday Baking day...Wednesday Park day.. or some thing like that. I think those sorts of rhythms ground us. More on that and with the finished chore chart next time.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Finding a Flow ...Anchors and Flux

I know how important it is to have rituals in life. "To every thing there is a season.." rings with the deepest truth of life, we humans feel centered and happier when we have rituals and seasonal times of reflection.

 This is something I have been trying to build into our family over the last couple of years.

In Spring we get the yard ready. We go to our places and have a celebratory picnic. We take a lot of nature walks, reveling in the new warmth (even if it's still chilly), looking for signs of green at every turn and when it truly arrives, we revel in the green and flowers.

Summer means popcicles, fireworks and lightening bugs on the 4th of July, playing in the sprinkler together, picnics by the creek, the Summer Reading Program, playing outside all morning and resting in the heat of the afternoon. Grilling and pickles and garden veggies. Summer Ends with The Fair...

Autumn means Leaf Walks to collect colorful leaves and crunch all that will be crunched!  Making our Seasonal Window Hanging- we make at least 4 a year out of wax paper and leaves, glitter, or paint.
Autumn Means hours at the park playing under the trees, reading books, early evenings, and the tinge of sadness that another year is winding down.
 And then we swing around to the Holidays and winter...The Holidays means a new window hanging, The Christmas Tree Hunt, decorating the tree, the Advent Elves and their secrets and surprises and letters of encouragement and Advent Projects...
Can you see Clemmie and Calvin nestled down on the window sill?

Decorating the Tree
Winter means Long days at home. Winter is dark and cold and the days feel long and people feel crowded. There is sickness from the lack of sunshine. But there is coziness and time for creativity. Snow fun and lots of time for books and school and sewing projects.
Playing with their friends next door after a blizzard.
sewing with a sleeping Ziggy on my back.
  I see all that we've built into our life, the way we try to honor and embrace the season we are in, to take the time to say "We can't do this any other time of the year, this is special."

School, newborn Ziggy, reading our Language Arts out loud while Ziggy nursed.

So when it comes to the year, yes I feel like we have an ebb and flow and definitely anchors. Some thing I want to write here while my kids are still young so I remember. I think the one thing I have done pretty well is to set my bar pretty low. The things I do with the kids aren't things that are hard for me to do, or take a ton of work. I enjoy them, they add a sense of stability and rightness to my life.

I have been fairly intentional not to build things around things that feel like work. They are important to my kids but I want to continue doing them for me.  Even when my kids are too old or uninterested I want to take time to make a new window hanging for that year in each season, or at least have a specific window hanging we've made back up. I want to take time to revel in leaves that crunch, I want to enjoy the ritual of decorating the tree and sitting in it's light with a warm beverage. I want to take the winter days to read and sew and enjoy quiet days at home. I don't mean any judgement to my Mom, she did what she needed to do, and she did a million things I am so grateful for, but as one of "the babies" I felt a huge sense of loss when she started to drop traditions because she was so busy with the older siblings who were teenagers.

I know down the line my kids are not going to want to join me, but I know that we lose so much when we stop honoring the seasons in small simple ways. And I hope to always offer that haven and safe feeling to my children. I don't cook fantastic meals or make Holidays all about the foods, that stresses me out. But I try to find ways to honor the seasons in simple ways and I hope I always will.

Tree night, store bought cookies and cider by the tree
So that's how we honor the season of the year...Now I want to talk about how we honor the times of the day and the ebb and flow and flux we need in life. That will be the next post...

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Wrapping My Head Around the Coming Year...

It's hitting me that July is almost over, that we only have a month or so of summer weather left. I went out to the garden this afternoon and despite my dismal efforts we have vegetables growing all over the place. It's been a very busy season, summer means hours at the park and pool and any moment I'm home is either me crashing in exhaustion or rushing trying to clean up from the kids that have trashed the house while I was resting from the hours of carrying/chasing/watching busy baby in the summer heat.

A Mermaid Castle the kids built in a creek.

It's been a really fun summer though...We've squeezed in a beach trip, fire works watching, many picnics, and tons of pool time. We also spent a lot of time at the library. Everyone took part in our local Summer Reading Program and the ones that could take part logged well over 2,000 minutes reading. I'm especially blown away by Roo, she logged so many books and reading time, all the prizes she won got to be a little obnoxious.

But August is around the corner, Friendly turns seven in 9 days. We're starting to make Birthday plans. And with that my mind starts to turn to our school  year and wondering if I'm covering all the things well enough.


Core Spine: Build Your Library: The Medieval World technically this is "Grade 2" I think it will be a perfect middle ground for Friendly who falls some where between 1st and 2nd grade and Roo who falls some where between 2nd and 3rd. 

What we will be covering (and some of the books we will use):
Story of the World Volume 2

Language Arts will be intertwined with history, we'll be reading about Medieval times and The Middle Ages from the Build Your Library Book Store (and supplementing whenever possible with Library Audio options, When researching for the year I was excited to find that our local Library has several of the required books available as Audio Books- less reading aloud for me.)

We'll be using BYOL's Science doing Earth Science and a Study of Space
I'm feeling a little ridiculously excited to get started. Last year when  we did the Ancient Civilizations the Science study was Nature studies (and nature notebooking) I wanted to study it so badly. I did some of the activities myself because I felt like making the observations, some times the kids would join me but generally it was a "oh That's nice, Mom.". Roo wanted to study Physiology and Anatomy, good stuff We used Apologia's program and Jr. Notebooking Journal  which is fantastic. But I don't know, maybe because it wasn't technically in the Teacher's Guide or maybe I just found it hard to squeeze in because there was so much to it, but I had a hard time consistently offering opportunities to work on it- or knowing how much to do. It was fine, the kids enjoyed it we got a few chapters of the book done and will pick it back up as interest dictates.

Okay so Science is covered.

Grammar and Spelling
The BYOL also offers opportunities to do dictation (so technically grammar, spelling, and handwriting if you want it to be). This format (using dictation from language arts that day) hasn't worked well with Roo. I think it feels too vague and unofficial for her. So we were using Spelling You See Jack & Jill I'm unsure whether she is ready to move on to the next level. Her reading comprehension and skills have jumped several grade levels in the last 3 months alone. When we started Jack and Jill last school year it was a bit too much for her. Now the spelling words are beyond easy for her, but it gives lots of practice in grammar as well as some handwriting practice. We've been skipping and doing a 5 or 6 grammar exercises in one day and 1 spelling practice and then moving on. We jumped ahead at least 10 levels in 2 weeks that way...We could quickly finish up and move on I suppose. I'm just unsure if that would be the best use of the curriculum? We can erase and use it again for Friendly, perhaps.
Which leads me to Friendly, I'm not sure if Spelling You See is the best fit for Friendly though. Due to her Auditory Processing challenges she gets really frustrated and turned around when she has to spell words from hearing me say them. She does better with concrete pictures and building the word visually. I thought about maybe going back to Explode the Code with her (we used it briefly with Roo in pre-K age, haven't used it with Roo). But I feel so in over my head in where to place her. I think we will be leaving spelling alone for now and using the Brain Integration Therapy exercises and phonic sounds flash cards to unlock her blocked learning gates and then re-evaluate at mid-year.

We've really been enjoying and learning a lot from Life of Fred  And the kids have picked up a ton of math from it! I think we're going to stick with that until we get through Edgewood and then see where the kids land. I have been really leaning towards wanting to do Teaching Textbooks with Roo, but I think I'd rather save the money and reconsider at mid-year as well. I go back and forth on this. The only thing I don't like about Life of Fred is that it's more reading out loud. It's not that I dislike reading out loud, but when you have little ones reading out loud means interruptions, constant interruptions. And that's part of life and it's part of homeschooling and it's part of reality but it annoys the heck out of me. :D I have been trying to work through scheduling stuff to reduce interruptions, but infants are infants, preschoolers are preschoolers and they are to interruption what bees are to nectar. I did begin recording myself reading chapters aloud on a private youtube channel so I can set kids up with a chapter on the ipad....

So Did I cover every thing?

Oh Bible. 

I will be doing Heart of Dakota Little Hearts for His Glory again (did it with Roo in 2013) with Pip, that has daily Bible stories and Memory verses. I think we will also be using Our 24 Family Ways every morning, or some mornings at least.

Sheesh when I type it all out I feel super overwhelmed! But then I remember, It's not all these things every day (except for Brain Integration Therapy, that's 15minutes daily). We're definitely going to have to think through a morning flow that works better than what we currently have. One that doesn't make homeschooling feel like a chain weighting down the relaxed days we want to have. But some thing that insures we're getting things done and every thing feels like they have enough structure to thrive and accomplish what they want to.

There's the rub.

More on that next time.

Monday, July 25, 2016

I'm back...Transitions

I pulled my blogs off the internet a few months ago. I decided I didn't want the internet at large to have access to family life and I just simply do not have time for much of any thing let alone blogging. Child #4 has killed all time for me. Every moment I might have been able to get away is full of shoulds and needs and keeping my head above water. But I'm also losing myself in there.  I enjoy writing. I think I have gotten a little tired of blogs though, they are just a tiny snippet and I feel like they are either too feely, mushy and frankly, silly. Or too perfect. Life is messy.

I want to continue to blog about gentle parenting, school, I think that is grounding and helpful to me. Not because I do it right. Not because I have some picture perfect or even interesting story to share, but because I need it in my life.

So I'm here.

A little update on us...

Roo is eight and a half and heading into third grade. Last school year was full of incredible changes and growth for Roo. She went from (still at age 8) sounding out words like "was" and "and" in January to reading fluently in March! She was still barely (with much anguish on her part, I never pushed it, but she was clearly frustrated) able to get through the Biscuit books to reading 6th grade reading level books by May. She's currently reading Poppy and Rye and I couldn't be more proud at the strides she is making. She loves reading! It happened just like when she learned to crawl or walk: frustration and struggle. And just like the older homeschool Mom's said would happen, CLICK!!
I think what really helped was enjoying books together. As well as the Reading Rainbow Skybrary App, she would curl up for hours reading book after book with the app (it narrates) and she fell in love with the solitary and relaxing activity that reading can be.

It is so validating to have a reader, it was a scary process but I'm glad we're here.

Friendly will be SEVEN in two weeks. I can't believe that she will be heading into second grade. Friendly is still struggling with some sensory processing things, she's always been my MORE kid and nothing has changed. We will be doing Brain Integration Therapy this school year to address some of her auditory processing issues, hopefully reducing her over all life frustrations as the pathways between hemispheres of her brain heals. I am really hopeful.  She is beginning to read, a completely different process from Roo. She is reading early readers and hungry for information and knowledge. She enjoys playing with numbers and seems to be very interested in math concepts, we will be encouraging that this school year.

The older two have told me they want to study The Middle Ages (we just finished up Ancient Civilizations), and are very interested in diving into our studies of space and earth science. :) We will be using Build Your Own Library again, I really really enjoyed our Ancient Civilizations and World Tour Last school year, we will be combining the girls into one grade and adding and subtracting as they need- it's so versatile and inexpensive enough where I don't feel pressure if we skip things that aren't working for us (no guilt at money wasted). It didn't feel like it at the time, we're so scattered and laid back, but when I pulled together all the things from the school year and wrote our subject summary for the school district: WOW! We learned and did so many things together last school year, it was a lot of fun!

Pip is four and a half and she is a pip and a half for sure. Four. Oh my goodness I don't know how I'm going to survive it again, it is grueling. Some thing about "Four"  in our kids- especially for our more easy going personalities- means they took all that they didn't dish out at two and three and saved it to unleash tenfold at four. It is beyond exhausting. I need a vacation. That said, she loves to have jobs, she can unload the dishwasher and fold a load of towels like a little machine and she loves to "babysit" Ziggy (she plays with him and bosses him around :D ). She is bright and inquisitive and full of ideas and wants to learn to read and do school this year. 

Ziggy. Oh my goodness this bub is amazing. I can't believe we didn't know we needed him in our family. He is just amazing. So far I haven't noticed any real difference in having a boy, except I use on average 2-3 more wipes per diaper changes, it's not as straghtforward cleaning all the things down there. :D He's crawling, cruising, pulling up on every thing. He has 6+ teeth and loves to play "so big". He's really really good at throwing, he loves to play "catch" and to throw any thing he can get his hands on, the older kids get a kick out of it. He is the sweetest little squish.

And that's about that. I hope to start blogging weekly about our school year and life again, I need the outlet.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Postpartum Reflections...

Our squish is here.And I've been doing a lot of this...
The first 5 days I stayed upstairs in bed, sweet Hubby Joy brought me all my food and got me any thing I needed. I nursed, napped, nursed, changed diapers, nursed, and rested. I allowed myself one trip downstairs a day after the first 5 days and this enabled me to get my own food once a day and or just hang out with the kids downstairs a little.

I ate breakfast on the front porch which felt really good. It's been too hot and muggy for the baby so I haven't gotten to do it since.

I love his curly ears.
I think the greatest challenge for me postpartum is knowing where to set the bar in relation to what my body needs, not just now but in the long term. As some one with adrenal and autoimmune challenges it is a fine line to walk. Generally I feel great, my health challenges have drastically healed and improved thanks to dietary changes and T-TAPP.  But the unfortunate thing is that my body does take a little longer to bounce back from things, particularly birth. And I feel so great, I often miss signs that I've over done it and then crash hard. And "over done it" is so frustrating, what exactly did I do that was so taxing? Often it was just a combination of a little too much activity and a few stressful situations (kids fighting, baby crying and not calming, raising my fight or flight reflexes), mix it in with postpartum hormones and a bad night of sleep: CRASH.

What does a crash look like? Complete and utter exhaustion mixed in with achey body and a shorter fuse. It's frustrating, but I've learned and I am learning how important it is for me to rest during times of transition and stress. Not only for me but for my whole family, that I focus on resting when I need it...And giving and being present as much as I can. Babies are precious, and they don't happen too many times in your life time...They are a gift.

This recovery has been a lot harder in some ways than it was last time. I will share the full birth story in another post soon, but suffice it to say it was a long hard labor. From the time my water was broken (more on that too) until birth it was 14 hours of HARD contractions. It was probably my hardest labor physically, though mentally and emotionally it was great. It just kept on keeping on like a freight train, no questions that this baby was on his way and my body meant business. Which in of itself, given his position, so empowering! That said, if it weren't for medical interventions I think it would have been a pretty traumatic birth.

As it was the birth was fantastic and I can look back at it with a mix of gratitude and relief that it all went the way that it did. It was deeply redeeming in many ways. I bled a lot, tore a little, and had a (give or take a smidge) 9lbs baby with a 14inch head come out asynclintic (cocked ear first). I felt pretty beat up the first several days.

I am 10 days out and feeling almost normal, but if I'm on my feet too much or do too much bending or twisting I feel like my pelvic area has been beaten badly. And unfortunately,  "too much" doesn't really hit until I've sat down and rested and then tried to get back up.

 It's harder to stay down this time, I am! I am sucking the marrow out of this babymoon. I can't say how thankful I am to Hubby Joy for all he's done to make this possible. He has been an absolute gem. But it feels so good right now not to be pregnant. I also love this time of year, I want to be at parks with the kids, taking nature walks and watching them play. Walking with Hubby Joy and enjoying the late-summer weather.

But I'm home mostly, nursing more than I ever remember nursing before (though I know it's not true, I just forgot) and snuggling and sad that these early days will fly so fast...What do I want to remember about them?  Stress over a messy house? All the places we went and things we did and how much I hurt afterwards?

Or the smell of his head. The softness of his cheeks. The way his squishy little body felt sleeping against mine. The way I know his face so well from hours of staring at it. That I drank him in and we had every thing together for his first week or two.
I am so grateful for this babymoon we've enjoyed and for new ways of learning balance and seeing how my body has healed in the last 4 years.
That said, having 3 other kids there are things that must march on...We start school tomorrow, and while I still plan to rest heavily the first month, life can't stop for that entire time. So I've been pondering what are some ways I can continue to focus on rest and self-care as I move out of our babymoon and into the rest of the 4th Trimester.

1. Shower every morning... As soon as I can. I feel so much more human when I am clean, especially after a night of nursing and leaking and diaper leaks.

2. Make my bed every day... I've never been one to make my bed, not since I was a kid. But it really does feel good to know that it is waiting there for me to rest on with out getting the sheets crumby (because I am always eating).

3. Treat Myself... Nothing crazy, but finding little ways to pamper myself. I did this a lot the last month of pregnancy...painting my myself a foot soak...Eating a special snack. It's going to be hard to get out alone with this little one, he has been taking a really hard core nap from 8-11ish every morning, but pretty much from that point on he is in arms non-stop. I know it'll change and he won't be so intense forever. But I do have a feeling getting out of the house for more than an hour at a time is going to be tricky. I need to find ways to treat myself at home.

4. Get Outside Daily...This has been tricky because the past week has been nasty muggy. But as Autumn and Winter roll around I plan to take advantage of the fact that Hubby Joy is here during the day and sneak out for a brief walk during morning nap- even on the most bitter cold days.

5. Read More Books...While there will be plenty moments of nursing on the go, there are even more of us snuggled up and what other opportunity am I going to have to read once he gets mobile? I've really been enjoying my kindle paperwhite e-reader, it has a small back light so I can read at night...That has been wonderful.

Well a certain little guy is squirming and I think he just filled his diaper...Time to go!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Operation Baby Prep!

We're 2-6 weeks away from meeting this sweet little one and I'm in full nesting mode.
36th week!

Some Friends came over yesterday and we had fun crafting a banner for baby Ziggy. He won't have his own room at this point, but I wanted to do some thing that we could put in his room down the line, and just some thing to do to celebrate a new baby.

They also helped me puttogether 6 batches of biscuit mixes and 3 batches of banana muffin mix!!!!
This will save so much time and mess and energy after he arrives!

Which leads to other preparations...

The menu planning worked so well to get us through the first trimester I've decided to give it another go for after baby is born. It was a little more fun this time because I didn't have to worry about keeping things on the bland side or worrying about smells wafting through the house making me miserable!
 After having two unexpected rough births and subsequent long and hard recoveries (and starting back into real life too soon). I learned with my last baby to take it easy the first week. Full bed rest that first week made a world of difference in my overall feeling of well being and my recovery time. Even after my rough births, I tend to feel really good the first week, flying high on adrenaline and the thrill of not being big and pregnant any more. The joy of snuggling that fresh new squish. I'm done with the waiting and ready to dive back in to LIFE!
It's HARD to stay in bed, but seriously it made a world of difference last time and I'm hopeful it will help this time as well. I am trying to set every thing up so that I can literally stay horizontal in bed with my baby that entire first week.

My personal postpartum rules (and recommendation of my MW) are...
  • WEEK #1: IN the bed, up only 5 minutes at a time to use the bathroom or take a quick shower (or do some gentle stretches once a day). Rest restores the body. No stairs. It's one intense, some times monotonous week in bed. ONE. If you need company ask friends to come hang out with you in your room. I spent most of my first week in bed with Pip staring at her, it was heavenly. If you can set things up to do this (as I am with meal plans and Hubby Joy and my Mom being around to take care of the big kids), revel in it. It's amazing and you will not get down time like that ever again (or until you have another baby ;)! And? It helps your body recovery on every physical level. Rest is a gift and it is worth it. Nursing baby and taking care of baby is the only thing you need to worry about in week 1. I plan to have snacks in my room and Hubby Joy will bring the meals I've planed out up to me after he's fed the kids.
  • Week #2: ON the bed the second week. Limit stairs (hard in my home). Camp out on the couch. I don't have to stay indoors or in bed, but I need to be limiting time on my feet and care of other children. I need to be laying down in bed for at least 3 hours in the afternoon resting. Stay reclined at least half the day and limit time on feet carefully! No cleaning.
  • Week #3: more freedom. Take it Easy, for every hour I am up I need to take an hour to rest. Shoot for 2 hours laying in bed with baby every afternoon. When I have a chance to rest, do it. No cleaning! But cooking easy meals is fine...Short outings are fine if you have a way to sit down and rest and there isn't a lot of time on your feet involved.
  • Week #4 through #6: return to light Mom duty. When there is a chance to rest, DO it! You don't need to sleep, just lay down with baby. Get quiet when you need it. Close your eyes and take deep cleansing breaths to get more energy.  Baby's first year isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. The better you treat your body the easier your adrenal glands and lymphatic system (helps your liver function and cortisol levels, quality of sleep and so much more!)  recover and deal with the interrupted sleep you'll likely be dealing with for many many weeks and months to come!
Pretty much the goal the first 6 weeks is to have the house run as smoothly as possible with me curled up with the baby as much as possible. My goal is to see how much I can stay off my feet. NOT how much I can get done. NOT how fast I can get back to normal. NOT to feel bad about doing this for myself. I'm worth it and so is my new precious baby, you only get to do this once with each kiddo, it's worth it!